To Be or Not To Be… A Cunning Linguist By Any Other Name…

Image

There is a part of me, there will ALWAYS be a part of me, who sneaks off and writes PULP. I know that in an age where I LITERALLY (pun intended) called my agent and had a major BF at the lack of literature for my age group I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. I mean yes James Bond is a wonderful little tryst but is it thought provoking and eternal? Thus I admit my shame of publishing, well, adult…and I mean extremely adult…fiction when I know I should be seeking the true nature of nature and the meaning of life and applying it to the world of my readers. So if we shadows have offended, look at it this way; our libidos will potentially fade, I’m getting a jump on stopping that terrible crime before it happens.Image

In a totally unrelated bish fit I came to understand the true meaning of “STANDARDS” in the Biblical Sense of the word. I also came to understand “ORDER” as in: No, you go first. I will just be over here taking notes, silently correcting your grammar, and actually using spell check. This is who I am. I am not ashamed. Honestly. Image

There is so much power in the written word. Word play is my ULTIMATE favorite game. I sat back for so long pretending that I am not good at it. Now I just need to release. I am creating a world here people. I live in the perfect sleepy town. I dance, which really is just an excuse to parade around in costume. I write, which is how I manage to find the time to use delightful visuals like this one and turn them into full fledged entertainment in a world where even soap opera funding has been cut.

Image

Seriously people, soap opera -a genre LITERALLY CREATED JUST TO SELL THINGS- no longer has a budget to, well, sell things. Thus I must use my power of cunning linguism to encourage my fellow writers to come out of hiding. I know you’re out there. Starring at your notebooks, just thinking to yourself; “It’s a shame that no one would get that.” Turn those woes into HEY NONNIE NONIE! Remember, its not “No one will get that.” Its; “KNOW! ONE WILL GET THAT!!!” Besides, my agent responded with that’s why they stopped making movies which is a call to end the writers strike if ever there was one; in my minds “I” 😉

So Miley lost her VOGUE COVER after “twerking” I know that you may think its because of twerk. I assure you, its because a dance exercise done to warm your body up BEFORE you go on stage is NOT an actual dance move. This wouldn’t be an issue if BUNHEADS was still on the air to explain such things. Nor if our beloved Miley attended formal dance classes.

Yes Iranian President Hassan Rowhani, we get the joke. “Not one iota” of your nuclear rights. Priceless, however, we were all discussing standards, order, and yes in the world of the Baljeatles where even Science Camp Rocks you’re the man. However, was that joke approved by the beautiful Sahebeh Rouhani…Image

We’re just saying….

….Oh, and Apple…Image

Until someone invents the proper accessories for me to sync my stilettos to my iPhone5 a’la Nike and coordinate with my Swarovski Image JUST STOP. You know, like Derrick Rose finally learned how to do in Japan. I guess he had to go somewhere fast and furious to learn how to handle that drive. Good Game! Image

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s